Cadd9 G AM C
I wonder if you and your heart are ready to fall in love with me
And if you asked me to wait to say the same, then I can do with that.
And Ill be here for you when youre ready just to let you know.
But you have my heart already n I cant let you go

Am C G D
Clearly we have somethin special here
And I wont stop following my heart
Cause it got me this far and I love who you are

C G Am D
I cant stop thinkin bout ya
dont wanna be without ya
Youre what I look forward to
Each and every day
Every moment with you makes me feel so brand new
I just cant stop thinkin bout ya
I wanna let (strum pause) you know I love youuu

I just cant keep this to myself, I need let it out!
girl you do something to me that makes me sing out loud
You seem like mr perfect - I needa tell you how I feel
And I dont know what you will say, but it feels so real.

Am C G D
Clearly we have somethin special here
And I wont stop following my heart
Cause it got me this far and I love who you are

C G Am D
I cant stop thinkin bout ya
dont wanna be without ya
Youre what I look forward to
Each and every day
Every moment with you makes me feel so brand new
I just cant stop thinkin bout ya
I wanna let (strum pause) you know I love youuu

BRIDGE
Em G D
And I met you just in time
No matter where I am youll be mine X2

C G Am D
I cant stop thinkin bout ya
dont wanna be without ya
Youre what I look forward to
Each and every day
Every moment with you makes me feel so brand new
I just cant stop thinkin bout ya
I wanna let (strum pause) you know I love youuu
X2

if i were to fall for someone..
why is it always gonna be the wrong person..
why they had to love others?
why they had to be in rship?
why i didnt get the opportunity to meet her first?

and i guess, sometimes in life you dont get the best..
so i guess, i have to learn to be contented..
and ever if i were to find someone like her..
looks and others characteristic matches similarly..
guess i just have to take her has a substitute..
i rather fake my happiness,
then to live on and die a broken hearted man..
i'll live in my own world
pretending the substitute to be her..

theres no meaning of happiness..
theres no meaning of how beautiful life would be..
theres no meaning of hope..
theres no meaning of faith..

when you're not here with me..
cus i know i cant make you mine..
i can only wish you were mine..
but wishes dont come true..

I'm not too broken to love..
I guess you can say that I wish for love..
In the dark depths of the night I dream of fantasies,

I'm stuck wondering..
When and how and why...
Where will it take place and how old,
Will I be when im rescued from this place?

Or is it too much to ask?
I know I'm nothing to you, I'm nothing to myself.
I guess I don't deserve happiness..
All I can do is ask..

Have I loved before?
Truth is i don't know.
Because... I can't remember.
This is my mask..

Can it be that someone else feels this way too?
Is anybody out there just searching for love?
Searching for the right person to come?
And what do you do when it does, anyway?
It's hard to say..
You have really two choices:
To run away, to fake your way though,
or...
To put yourself in harm's way,
And hope to your Gods you won't get hurt..

And what if you're wrong? like I was.
What if that person says no?
But then a while later, says they regret it?
What do you do then?

It's okay, I confuse myself, but this time...
I mean it.... and it hurts to have no one,
Seem to understand. Why is it like this?
And then I remember..

Have I loved before? I don't know ...
I can't remember.

I guess its only left 3 weeks to school then i'm having 1 or 2 weeks of break before going to LA,santa monica for 3 month attachment with Side Effects Company..
Well, assignments are pilling up, yea, that sucks but well, it's always like that since the the term is ending..
so must burn oil! haha..
I hope i got to spend time with all my best brothers bungkos, rudieman, prakash , firdaus and khairon ..
not forgeting joan, aisha elyana ,syadariena, dewi jelina ayu, nanad, elfarahlee, zie and qylla too .. hope i get to meet up with you people before i leave for the 3 months.. so gonna miss you guys..

well, just watched the race to the witch mountains and the obsessed..
both are pretty good actually! well,theres this one actress that caught my attention!
haha..

she is AnnaSophia Robb
aww..she is lovely..
how i wish i have a girlfriend like her! haha..

Reminiscing is full of nostalgia..
It was a cold dark night when i couldnt sleep
when the memories of the past haunt me..

I have actually endured more than i should have..
Looking at happy couples happily in love make me realise
something that i have been missing for more than 4 years..

That night, when i was so out and things arent good for me
she came into my dream to comfort me..
For that instance,i feel something to live for and fight for..

Then i realised that all this while i've been missing someone..
Really missing someone..
Only god would have understand the way i miss her..

But she is gone from my life and i've accept the fact
that she is not coming back..
I've long known that..

I will never get to kiss her again..
Feel that perfect moment when she stared into my eyes
and gave me that killer smile that always made me
feel as though something inside me was melting..

Sadly, i definitely won't be able to see that again..
There are ten thousand things that i wish to do
but we are never going to do together again..

"you're a nice guy,i'm sure girls out there would be lucky to have you,
you really know how to treat a girl well with your unconditional love and undivided attention"
"And i'm sure wan,you'll meet someone else who is much better than me,better looking than me and someone whom will love you more that i do,cause a guy like you really deserved that"
That are the exact words that she said to me and it keeps on playing on my ears that cold night..

But i dont believe a word of it..

I think that you can use up your love.. I think you can blow it all on one person..
You can love so much, so deeply, that there is nothing left for anyone else..
You could give it all the time in the world, and i would never find someone to
fill the gap that she has left.

Because how do you find a substitute for the love of your life?

Perhaps i could learnt to live with it..

If u were to fall for someone's girlfriend,what would you do? is it wrong? if ur inner guts & heart keeps telling u that she's the the ideal & perfect one for u.. do we have a choice not to fall for the person?when you cant stop or control what our heart feels right about it.. it just happen.. A wise man told me before,all the good girls are taken..it is damn true..it was silly as i use to not to believe it but i guess its the fact somehow..i have always been convincing myself that there are still many fishes in the sea but how many rare ones can u catch? maybe u wont get the point here but its okay..

Okay now, if u love that someone?would u fight for it? isnt love selfish? if u're not selfish then its not love? i'm torn between it.. if we were to be selfish & fight for it ,thers always the other side of you which will tell you that to wait as it is rude and wrong to intervene and intrude others rship.
But then must we still lie & pretend to be happy? Happy that the one you want and thought was the perfect for u is with someone else? do we still pray & wish for her everynight before we close our eyes?or should we still wait for the uncertainty & have that little faith and belief that fate will bring us together?or must we convinced ourself yet again that this is just an beginning obstacle of the long journey of true love?

well,my birthday is coming soon, but as those who knows me well, i cant even be bothered..
cus, it has always been a so called cursed date for me.. & i dont know why.. thats why i dont care.. i dont have a wishlist or whatever cus it will not come true.. it will only leave me more heartbroken as the thing u hoping would not come true.. all i ever wanted was one.. happiness.. and to think that is the most difficult thing to have..i'm left speechless..

i thought that this year it,that so called date would be something much better but i really doubt so, someone had book me out for my bday,but i guess u noe sumtimes plan doesnt work all the time yea..no one fault,no one to be blame..its destined to be that way, this date is a cursed to me,n so i'll accept it.. so yea, people dont bother to even wish me happy birthday yea..cus i dont care..thanks..

Okay,so much for the shit, well,im thinking of joinin pool competition..
but im not that good le..should i try or not?well,suddenly i feel scared.. in less than 2 months i will be leaving for LA for 3 months..haisss.. will anyone miss me? or shud anyone even care..? haiz.

Finally,Gentarasa 2009, bapak borek anak cerdik has gone and ended.
Well,in summary i have enjoy all the times spend with the cast,directors,choreographer,veteran actors,dancers and all that have involved.. u guys will have a special place in my heart.
Thanks for those that make it possible for me and i couldnt have done it with the people who always give me advices n motivation along the way.The show was a blastful n success in my opinion.
I've met wonderful friends..really wonderful and unique..u guys will be missed but all the memories will always stay near and dear in my heart..
and to that someone among the cast,i dunnoe if u noe but well,u will be greatly missed,
i'll missed ur wonderful facial expression and the movements of ur ever flexible body when u are dancing,the bright smile on ur face,ur ever flawless acting..all i can say is,im lucky to have met someone like you..
Overall i did enjoy every moment of it..Special thanks to the directors, Zaharian Osman, Mazlina Buang and Suhaimi Yussoff.
Thank you.

to whom it may concern..

If dreams were given to a lonely man
and a lonely man's dreams came true,
I'd force myself to sleep all the time
just so I could dream of you

If wishes were given to a lonely man
and I was given just two,
I'd wish for you to always love me
and the other I'd give to you

If my tears could write a love song
I'd write a love song for you,
It would explain just how I feel inside
and how much I love you too

But, dreams are only dreams
and wishes seldom come true,
My tears can't write a love song,
but when they fall, they fall for you

My life is empty,
My life is useless,
What's so special about that?
My life is full of lies,
My life is full of hatred,
My life is in denial,
But does it matter?
I tried not to cry,
I tried to hide,
I tried to put on a fake smile,
But in the end..
I know it's useless..
My life is like a broken melody,
No one cares,
They all hate me,
So what should I do?
What way do I turn?

Oh, what can I do to let you know my heart is for real,
Sitting at the beach only the stars could tell you,
Let me love you for no reason, for no return,
Swinging with the waves of ocean, who am I speaking to..

Oh, what can I do to let you know how much I feel for you,
Wishing to the clouds let me see the moon,
Let me love you for no reason, for no return,
Shivering in the wind, oh, where are you..

Let me love you, oh, let me love you,
Not for my loneliness but for you,
Let me love you, oh, let me love you,
I whispering in my heart, oh god, let me love you..

well,its been a quite sometime since i last blog..
actuali got alot of things happen..
but i lazy to blog!! wahaha!
well,on last sat n sun,there were no
gentarasa trainin..so i spend the weekends with
my close friends..
it was worth while..
bungkos nyanyi tkde sengau lagi pe!!
on sunday play soccer but kinda
dissapointing cause we lost again..
haizz..
but the key thing is tat..
im the pool 9 ball champion!
we play a league tournament series..
5 people were involved..
one of em is my shifu..
so it is tough!
so at the end of the round..
i won 4 n lost one..
so i am the champion..
the strange thing is tat.. i defeated my shifu..
lost to his son-in law..
so my shifu and the others wants revenge..
so we play a tournament,while im waitin who is the
winner to take my title..
so after the two matches have played..
my shifu met his son-in-law in the semi finals..
whoever win has the right to fite against me..
so his son-in-law won..
so the pressure is on me..
cus i lost to him in the first league tournament..
but then,guess what! i won! so i successfully
defend my title..so now,anyone up for a pool challenge?
if its a girl,if u lose..i'll date u? n for guys..
if u lose,u pay for the pool? so anyone??

well,now im goin clear the air..
alot of girls,have been askin hows me n joan n etc..
about how things is goin for us n etc..
the things is that..she is just a friend to me..
there is nothing goin on abt us..
so if u girls read this,pls understand this fact..
n stop asking please.. thank you.. :)

im single n available as always.. :P ..
who wants to be my lucky gerl?? haha..

I've been thinkin lately..
thinking so hard that it could be deadly..

i dont know if its worth it..
to keep the hopes alive..
or to killed & burried it..

but i guessed,i've made up my mind..
i've convinced myself that your're never gonna be mine..
so i've promised myself to move on..
because d feelings that i have will soon be gone..

so yea, mayb now i should really date girls that like
or have feelings for me rather than vice versa..
so yea... :P


Your heart may shatter,
But it will heal,
You have to take your time,
Putting it back together,
Yet if you rush through,
Try to hurry to forget the pain
You might miss the most important pieces,
The ones that will allow you to
Love, trust and smile again..

If u ever wonder why I don't talk to you anymore,
please believe me when I say it's not that I don't want to,
it's just that everything I want to say I can't tell you anymore..

Only questions are left to be answered..

If I was perfect would you love me?
If I was good looking would you want me?
If I reach for your hand, will you hold it?
If I hold out my arms, will you hug me?
If I go for your lips, will you kiss me?
If I capture your heart, will you love me?
If I loved you would you leave me?

Reasons that are hanging in the air..

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real..
Mad because I don't know how you feel..
Upset because we can't make it right. .
Sad because I need you day and night..
Angry because you won't take my hand..
Aggravated because you don't understand..
Disappointed because we can't be together..
but still I'll love you forever..

Don't apologize for your feelings, it's like apologizing for the truth..
I never regretted telling you I liked you..
I only regretted never hearing what you really thought of me..

My Lucky Charm..

What i am gonna blog sounds so unbelievable..
but hell yeah its true..
omg..
i still cant believe it..

Well,i dont know why this few days..
i'm not myself and all..
seem to lose all the mood in the world..
and i hated it.. HATED it!

But yea, joan text me at 10.50pm..
then i text her back..
she then ask if im okay or not?
i was like.. ermm,how come she can sense eh??
then i reply her with this classic sentence..
"Don't worry..im fine..im ok.."
haha..you know i know yea? *winks..

Well then she call me at 1.53am..
JENG JENG JENG!
here comes all the best part..

LISTEN..
"listen to the song here in my heart..
a melody i start i can't complete..lalalala .. "
Okay! shut up sanwan! hehe..
ok ok..i'll continue to tell..

well,when joan called me,
as you guys know,when people
call me they would listen a song..
the song is Mad by neyo..

then coincidencely,
while she was singin waitin for me
to pick up the phone..
the radio also play the song!
and when i pick up,
she said " OMG!"
then i was like..
whats with her sehh?
can you atleast say halo ferst? :P ..
haha..

well,it does not stop there..
more to come..
well,we were talkin at all,
then im the back of my mind is
if i were to request a song,
it would be Insomniac by craig david!
then omg,the radio suddenly played the song
scary cann?then joan also said that,
it would also be the song she would have
requested sehh! cool uh!

Well,another one to go..
this is so freaky!..
then joan ask me to try call 98.7fm la..
she said " you call la,i'm your lucky charm,u'll definately
get thru one la.."
then i also try lor for her..
first attempt was engaged..
then the second, it RANG!
omg..imagine this,
i had two phone on my ears..
left and right..

So the Deejay,pick up..
then i put the phone that im
talkin with joan to a side,
then i talk with the deejay..

it was at 2.45am..
i said..
"hi,im sanwan,and im dedicating the next
song vertigo by u2 to my lucky charm
joan marie ann paul"

then i talk back with joan,
she was wondering whr i go sehh
then i was like,can't u hear that
i just dedicate a song for you..

then she said no..
then moments later..
we heard my voice on air!
aww.. am i sweet or what?

thanks joan for making me smile..
its like you know sehh whenever im not okay..
well, u said that you are my lucky charm right?
if its true, i would love to have you forever
so that i'll be lucky always..

and you said that u're fairy..
why dont you become my fairy in this
fairytale that im dreaming??

I wish she would notice that I wanna go crazy but just for her
I wish I could love her right now and for her to fall in love with me..

Im slowly trying to let these feelings fade because lately
Ive been given no reason to keep holding onto them..

You are everything that i want but i guess i'm nothing that you need
some hearts get lucky sometimes. I guess mine just wasn't one of 'em.. :(

Name: Sanwan Nor Bin Hamzah
Age: 21
Birthday: 28/06/88

Likes to: Play music,make new friends,play soccer and sing..
Wants to tell:don't judge me as you don't know me yet..
Email: trift7@hotmail.com

Others Links :Click on it!!

Youtube
Facebook
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Wishes:

Ps3
Iphone (my htc touch sucks)
Pass my driving
Have a really loving and understanding GF
Graduate & get my diploma with good GPA
A car for me to roam
Be someone famous

My Hidden Past

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